All I Want
by AFIsXFallXChild
Summary: Severus Snape has sinned, and owed his loyalty to Albus Dumbledore. How much will Dumbledore make him do to pay for what he has done? Will Severus let go of Lily Potter after her death? And will his heart be whole once again?
1. One Step Closer

Chapter One - One Step Closer

He sat in his chair, eyes studying the room he knew in which he would spend the rest of his life. The cold stone glistened with water, candles flickering small trickles of light here and there, their reflection in the water sparkling like glitter. The air smelled crisp, damp... a hint of smoke from the fire, and light scents of different ingredients from the bottles lining the wall. The wooden desk was firm under his elbows, and the leather chair soft against his back. Surveying the room again one time, he stood and left, the heavy wooden door slamming behind him.

The halls were empty now... Just how he liked it. He only had a few days of freedom left, so he walked slowly, without need to strike fear into passerby with his billowing black robes and stern expression. He stopped at a window overlooking the lake and forests, and let his mind wander. What could have possibly driven him to accept this? Was it necessary? He knew Albus had done so much for him, and until the young Potter boy was brought here for schooling, he had 10 years to serve the man's every bidding. Would it be so hard to accept ten years of hard work? He didn't think Albus would ever ask such a thing again, and if he did, well, there would be some way to just work around it. Flicking his wand silently, he noted the time, and continued his walk to the highest tower.

As he approached the large winged gargoyle, he came to a standstill, and muttered "Butterbeer". The gargoyle began to turn and rise, bringing forth a set of stairs. He stepped onto the third, and stood as the staircase rose to meet a wooden door. He rapped his knuckles on it three times, and entered without waiting for an answer. The room was empty and silent. He sighed. Just like Albus, to insist on others timeliness, yet have no requirement for his own. The student was late as well. If that was to be any sign of what was to come, he knew he'd be facing many migraines this year.

He wandered the room slowly, finally stopping at the Pensieve. He glanced down into it, and watched images swim back and forth... Albus' memories... He saw himself many times... but the reoccurring image was himself crying for Lily's death, and begging Albus to help him... The only other image that swam forth was that of a young girl. Her smiling face was stunning. Her golden hair was long, streaks of pink and blue dancing in and out of the cascades of blonde. Her green eyes... They sparkled so much, all he could think of was Lily. He didn't know who this girl was, but he yanked himself from the Pensieve, unable to bear her eyes any longer. At the sound of footsteps outside the door, he wiped the tears from his eyes, and composed himself. The door swung open, revealing Albus laughing uncontrollably.

"My goodness, Miss Williams, you certainly have an amazing sense of humor. I don't believe I've laughed this hard in quite a while," he said, still chuckling. He turned away from the door. "Ah, Severus, you're here. Good."

"Of course, I'm here, Headmaster. You did send for me. You, however, are late," Severus said, gritting his teeth. Did the man have no respect for his time? Albus sat down at his desk. "Yes, I did, didn't I? Well, I thought it best for you to get started on your lesson planning for the year, and I thought you might wish to meet your assistant." Severus turned as the door clicked softly, only to be struck by piercing green eyes. The same eyes from the Pensieve. The girl that had torn forth all of his pain and loss with a simple smile. He groaned inwardly. How would he ever last around her?

"Severus, this is Ianna Williams. She is a seventh year Ravenclaw, and is very, very good at Potions. Horace recommended she study with an Auror who is thoroughly advanced in Potions, but she chose to stay here at work with you," Albus said, his grin bigger than ever. Severus rolled his eyes, and clenched his fist, tempted to put it through the nearest wall.

"Very well, Albus. You have given me no choice in this matter, so we'll get through it as fast as possible. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do." He pushed away from the bookcase he'd been leaning against, and strode past the girl and through the door. As he passed her slender frame, he caught a whiff of her perfume... A light scent of fruit, sweet and tantalizing, but he couldn't place what it was exactly. Pushing the thought from his mind, he strode quickly back to the Dungeons. He passed a few teachers on his way down, but the look on his face must've been frightening, because they quickly moved away in terror as he passed. He entered his quarters and slammed the door shut. His fist quickly connected with the bookcase, sending his notebooks, novels, and Potions directions scattering around the room, as though running in terror from his hand.

The tears came forward again, spilling quickly from his eyes. The loss of the only woman he ever loved was a fresh wound, and being around this girl was like pouring salt into the wound. He crumbled to the floor, his black cloak wrapping itself around him, and he let himself sob uncontrollably. It wasn't until he smelled something sweet hanging near him that he stopped crying. He quickly whipped out his wand as he stood and turned in a flurry, a hand on the girl's shoulder and his wand to her throat. He slammed her against the door.

"HOW DARE YOU ENTER MY CHAMBERS WITHOUT PERMISSION? You stupid girl, you will regret your idiocy more than you can possibly imagine. I will make you suffer for this!" His teeth were clenched hard, and his face flushed with anger. He felt every nerve on his body on fire with his rage: Rage for Lily's death, rage for what Albus was doing to him, and rage against this girl for her stupidity. His eyes locked with hers, and he watched as a small tear escaped from the corner of her eye. Without warning, he felt his heart stop, and the flurry of rage had completely left his body. All he could feel was a deep, agonizing pain. It was like watching Lily cry, and he couldn't bear it. He felt a twinge of desire to pull her into his arms, but instead he yanked himself away from her, as she slumped to the floor, coughing. He knelt down next to her.

"Have I seriously injured you?" She shook her head. "Good. Get out." He stood and went to his desk, sitting down and resting his head in his hands, trying to rid himself of the pounding migraine by sheer will. The room was so quiet, he wasn't sure if she had left or not, but at that point, he didn't care. It wasn't until he felt the light brush of fingertips against his temple that he knew she was still there, and he was ready to hex her across the room. But before he could even lift his head, he noticed a warmth spreading from her fingers into his head, and the headache began to fade. He leaned back into the cushioning of his chair, relaxing as the pain faded away to nothing.

When it was gone, she dropped her hand from his head, and leaned against his desk. He looked up at her inquisitively. "How does a 17 year old learn Wandless Magic?" She shrugged. "My mother taught me right before she died 3 years ago... I've been practicing ever since. Anyway, I know you hate me Professor. I'm sorry you got shouldered with me. I'm sorry you hate me. I'm sorry for whatever it is about me that drives you nuts, even though you don't know me. But mostly, I'm sorry that we have to deal with each other for the rest of the year. But I'm going to do whatever I can to secure my future. If that means sitting here day after day with my mouth shut, so be it. I just hope you'll be willing to work with me to make this bearable." She lifted herself off of his desk and moved towards the door. Twisting the knob, she looked back into his onyx eyes with a sadness in her own and said, "Good night, Professor."


	2. Heads Will Roll

Chapter Two - Heads Will Roll

It didn't take long for any student to figure out that Severus Snape was NOT the teacher to cross. He was snide, he was cruel, and he was picky. The slightest mistake in any manner would be enough for a severe punishment. A first year was 10 seconds late to class the first day: He had detention for a week. A fourth year ALMOST put the wrong ingredient in a Potion: Two weeks of cleaning cauldrons after class. Snape's fury was one that no student wanted to invoke. The saving grace for any student was their assistant teacher, Ianna. While the students brewed potions, she reviewed them, while Snape would leave to grade papers in his office. Instead of yelling at them or punishing them, Ianna would gently lend a hand, whether to stop a student from putting in the wrong ingredient, or to help them understand the directions better. Snape had a habit of being very, very vague.

One particular afternoon, the 3rd year Ravenclaws and Gryffindors had a double Potions lesson together. When it came time to brew the Forgetfulness Potion, Snape sat down at his desk to glare over the students, while Ianna wandered between cauldrons. As she turned to move up another row, she glanced up in time to see a boy drop a Horned Slug into his cauldron. "Jerry, no!" she screamed. She quickly grasped his arm, and yanked him down behind her, as all of the students ducked behind their cauldrons screaming. Snape stood quickly, but not quickly enough. The cauldron exploded, showering Ianna with purple liquid. Within seconds, she was screaming, as the robes on her body began to burn away and leave her skin exposed to the vicious acidity of the potion. Snape quickly whipped out his wand and made the cauldron disappear, along with the horrible purple liquid, leaving only the smell of acid and burning fabric.

"Everyone, out. NOW!" he shouted. The students scattered quickly, abandoning their potions and bags, unconcerned for anything but their own skin, should they incur his wrath. Ianna dropped to her knees, sobbing in pain. As the last student left, the classroom door slammed behind them, and Snape waved his wand again. Ianna's robes and uniform vanished, leaving her curled up in her undergarments and rocking back and forth in agony. Snape kneeled beside her, able to see where her skin was burned and starting to eat away from the potion. He pulled a small bottle from the pocket of his robes, and uncorked it. He poured the yellow liquid on her shoulders and, though she gasped from the cold liquid hitting her skin, she didn't cry out. As the yellow, sweet scented potion crawled down her back, it began to dance into her wounds and seal them up with a little burst of light.

When she was completely healed, he yanked her up by the underarm, and pulled her face very close to his own. "What the HELL were you thinking?" he spat viciously. "You NEVER throw yourself between the student and his failure. If it is a danger to the occupants of the room, use your wand to remove it. If not, let the little brat suffer with the abomination he has made!" Her eyes, red from her previous tears, began to well up with more. Shakily, she opened her lips to simply state: "I am not you, Professor, so I will never let a student stuffer that amount of pain, no matter how horrible his or her potion is." He let go of her arm, and let her fall weakly back to the floor, striding to his desk. He sat down and rubbed his temples. "Get out, Williams."

She stood slowly, leaning on a cauldron for support. "Um, sir... my clothes?" Snape waved his wand a third time, and Ianna's shredded robes were once again on her trembling frame. She wobbled unsteadily on her feet, and slowly pushed herself to walk up to his desk. She slammed both hands down on the desk, and glared straight into his eyes. "I can't understand the issues you have with me, or anyone else in the school, but I can tell you this: I will never, EVER let my students suffer the way they suffer under you. You are a cruel man, and you are vicious and mean. No one here has done anything worth the daily torture you put us through, and none of us deserve it. I can be polite to a point, and I can take constructive criticism, but you intentionally have made me regret every moment I've had to spend here with you. Although I hate every minute of it, I am determined to make something of myself, and I will not let you destroy me. I WILL get through this student teaching session, and I WILL become the teacher I have always wanted to be. YOU will be here the rest of your life, doing this job that you obviously detest, and staring daily at students you can't stand. You will be here, alone, and you will only have yourself to blame."

He stood, his hands parallel to hers on the desk, and glared down into her eyes. Even leaning forward, he towered over her, but she stood firmly focused, refusing to cower under his gaze. "I said, get out. And for that delusional and disrespectful speech you just gave, detention. Be back here at 7. I will work you to the bone, Williams. YOU will regret every word you just uttered."

Ianna glared at him, then stormed to her desk, grabbed her bag, and left, slamming the door behind her. She stormed up to the Ravenclaw tower, dumped her bag on her trunk, and began to remove her uniform. When she was down to her button-up shirt, her panties and her stockings, she flopped down on her bed. Her hair sprawled out, fanning across the blue comforter. The blonde and pink strands stood out against the cover, while the blue began to sink in and disappear. She set an alarm on her wand to make sure she'd have time for dinner before her long detention, and settled into the bed for a nap.

At first, she didn't dream, but her mind quickly brought the worry of detention and her daily trials forward in her mind. She dreamt of the Potions classroom door in front of her. She pushed it open and stepped into the room. It was very dim, barely lit by the candles around the room. She heard the click of the door behind her, but before she could turn around, she felt a firm body press against her. She relaxed into the warmth of the frame, and slender but strong arms wrapped around her. The hands gently stroked the curves of her hips. She moaned softly, as a set of soft lips caressed her ear before dipping down to nip and kiss her neck gently. She was overwhelmed with passion and quickly twisted in his arms, feverishly pressing her mouth to his. Their tongues danced together and their lips molded against each other. When they finally parted, she opened her eyes to see a set of onyx ones that she instantly recognized. She gasped and fell backwards, scrambling away from this odd version of Snape… As she tumbled backwards, she fell endlessly through darkness. Finally she crashed onto the hard floor of her dorm room, gasping frantically. That was the creepiest dream she had ever had. She couldn't even figure out why her mind had given her such a strange version of him. He'd never been like that towards her. He was too acidic and vicious for that.

Ianna threw a new uniform on and ran down to dinner while trying to push the dream from her mind. It was really hard to do, knowing she had an impending detention with him in less than 30 minutes. She quickly wolfed down her dinner, ignoring the scalding heat of her soup. Picking up her bag, she dashed out of the Great Hall and down the stone steps toward the dungeons. She reached the Potions Classroom, and came to a screeching halt in front of the door. She was quickly reminded of her dream. She shuddered and pushed the memories away. She reached for the door handle and stepped inside.

Snape was sitting at his desk, his fingers interlaced and a maniacal grin on his face. "Well, well… my little assistant in on time for her punishment."

Ianna rolled her eyes and gave a exasperated sigh. "Ugh, let's just get this over with."

Snape stood and walked around his desk, crossing his arms and stepping closer to tower over her. "Listen, Williams, you'd better watch how you speak when you're in my presence. You think you've got it tough now? I will make it ten times worse. You will never survive. Every day you spend in my classroom will be a living hell. You will have detention every night. I will make you suffer. Now get to work. Clean every cauldron, and reorganize the shelves of books and ingredients. When you're finished, you'll come to my office and do the same there."

She glared at him. "Fine." She reached into her bag and pulled out her magically built MP3 player, and popped her headphones in. She refused to listen to his voice any longer. Cranking up the music as loud as she could bear, she got straight to work, trying to focus on the music, and drive him from her thoughts.

Severus sat down at his desk, and leaned back in his chair to observe his assistant as she worked. Unlike many other students, she was thorough in her cleaning methods. She scrubbed every cauldron diligently, making sure not to miss a single speck of grime. She also organized the Potions storage room by category of Potion and alphabetically within each category. Even though Severus could tell that she was furious with him, she still did her work well. He almost felt a little twang of pain, knowing at that age he had been the same way. He just didn't have her temper or outbursts. He wondered if the similarities between them was the reason that Albus had forced them to work together. The man had an infuriating way of nosing himself where he didn't belong. Severus was sure that, because of his antisocial behavior since Lily's death, that Albus wanted him to spend time with some other living person regularly, other than his students.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he noticed that Ianna was no longer in the room. He felt his temper flair, ready to hex her into next week, and stood, storming to his office. He slammed open the door, hearing a cry of pain as he did so. Taken aback, he closed the door, finding Ianna smashed against the wall, two shattered ingredient bottles in either hand. The glass and the contents covered her frontside, and parts of her hands and torso were bleeding. Snape almost felt the urge to laugh; the girl was so accident prone. He pulled her away from the wall, pressing open her hands so that she dropped the smashed remains to the floor. He scooped her up and carried her over to the desk, laying her flat on her back on top of it. He sat down in his chair, summoning some equipment from a nearby cabinet. He pulled open her robes, trying not to expose her private areas. She was shaking in pain, but wasn't making a sound. He reached for a pair of tweezers and slowly began pulling the shards of glass out of her skin. He knew it was causing her massive pain, because her eyes were pressed shut as hard as she could manage.

He glanced up to her face. "Williams, look at me."

She shook her head, keeping her eyes shut tightly.

He reached up to her chin with his left hand and turn her head slightly toward him. "Ianna, please. Open your eyes."

Her heavily lashed lids slowly opened, revealing her bright green eyes, sparkling with tears of pain. He stared at her eyes, trying to neither smile, nor be frightening. "Keep your eyes on me. This next piece is very large, and it will probably hurt. I'm going to have to take it out slowly, so let's talk."

She blinked a few times. "Ok."

He nodded. "Williams, I know this hasn't been easy on either of us. This is a lot harder on me than you think. This isn't where I thought I'd be at this point in my life, and I'm not a very social person. I hated my life as a student here, so being back as staff and having to deal with these children is a living hell for me. I know this isn't what you expected to deal with in your student-teaching career, but I cannot change who I am. I can't help the way I react to students' idiocy. I expect a lot of these children. Maybe it's just my appreciation for the art of Potions, but I expect them to be wiser, more skilled at it. I expect them to appreciate it the way you and I do."

She stared at him, confused. "Me? You've never even asked how much I know about Potions."

Snape nodded again. "I know that. But don't you think I observe how you teach the children when I'm not around?"

She jerked upward to a sitting position, but he pressed her back down lightly with his left hand. "What do you mean? You spy on me when I teach?"

He rolled his eyes at her. "Williams, if you're learning the education process from me, it's not spying if I observe your practice sessions."

She looked away from him. "I suppose you're right."

He looked back down at his work. "I also know you're a lot easier on them than I am."

She twisted her head back toward him, a look of panic in her eyes. He smirked. "I'm not angry, Williams. As surprised at you might be, I think it's best for the students that they get a break from my fearsome teaching occasionally. It makes me look more vicious, and makes them fear me more. You're benefiting my reputation."

It was her turn to roll her eyes. "Damn. And I thought it was just benefiting me."

He pulled one last glass piece out of her hip and dropped it into the bowl. Reaching over to his supplies, he grabbed a salve that was glowing a pale teal color. He took small drops on two fingers, rubbing it into each cut on her skin. He stood and leaned over her to reach a cut just below her left collarbone. As he rubbed the salve into her skin, she remembered her dream, and felt her heart start to race underneath his fingers. Her stomach did a flip as he stopped rubbing and turned to look at her face. She knew he'd felt her heartbeat.

She pushed herself up and off the desk, pulling her clothes tightly around her. "Uh, thanks Professor. I'm gonna go now. I'll see you tomorrow." She grabbed her bag and bolted from his office. Severus slowly sat down in a daze. He'd felt her heartbeat speed up like a fluttering bird when he touched her. What the hell was going on?


	3. Somebody I Used To Know

Chapter Three - Somebody That I Used To Know

It had been weeks since the incident in Severus' office. but Ianna had completely changed. She no longer threw her temper at him, or contradicted his teachings. In fact, sometimes it was like she wasn't even there. She had turned into a zombie of a person: constantly quiet, only speaking when spoken to, and following Severus' teaching lesson to a tee. Severus found himself watching her outside of class, and he found her to be no different. She didn't speak to anyone, unless addressed by a teacher, and she barely touched any food at mealtimes. Severus was starting to worry, oddly enough. He couldn't figure out why he was concerned for her well-being, but he was. He supposed it had to do with her physical reaction to his touch. No woman had responded to him that way. Maybe he was just losing it. Without her to lean on for support with the students, he was far more stressed. If the students had feared him before, now they were in fear for their own lives. His wrath was ten times worse, and no one knew why. He himself couldn't even figure out why he was so infuriated.

She'd begun to look sickly. She was thin and boney now, like a walking skeleton. What was wrong with her? She had been so lively when they'd met. Ever since that night in his office…. It was driving him nuts. Couldn't the girl just get some help?

One day, he'd finally had enough. He'd given the students a 15 page paper to write, and sent them away. When the classroom emptied, he stood and moved slowly to the back, where Ianna was staring out one of the small windows, lost in thought. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her, as if she were trying to hold herself together. Severus moved to lean against the wall with the window, so he could look at her face. She didn't even seem aware of him being there. He stood there, just watching her eyes. She barely blinked, and didn't move a muscle. Hell, he could barely see her move when she took a breath.

"What is it, Professor?" she said suddenly.

He jerked back at her sudden sentence. When his heart had slowed from the shock, he looked back into her eyes. "What's going on, Williams?"

She didn't respond for a moment, then said sharply, "Nothing."

He sighed, exasperated. "You're lying. Don't you think I've noticed your sudden change in behavior? It's like you're someone else."

She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Professor. I just... I can't do this anymore. I'm going to work at the Ministry to finish my student teaching."

She turned to walk away, and he reached out and grabbed her arm. "Williams, why? What could possibly make you leave?"

She wouldn't look him in the eye. She kept her head down, and her eyes turned away. "Ianna."

She blinked furiously, as if forcing back tears. "I just have to. It's better for everyone." She tugged to try and pull away, but he kept a firm grip on her arm.

"What will I do without you?" he said softly. That was enough. He watched as the tears bubbled up and poured over her dark lashes.

"Be better off. You don't have to deal with me anymore. Or worry about me being a stupid girl, jeopardizing your job. Goodbye, Professor." she yanked away and ran out the classroom door.

Severus stood there in shock. Jeopardizing his job? What the hell did that mean? She'd never been in danger of hurting his job; keeping her around helped him KEEP his job. He left his office in a flurry, heading straight up to Dumbledore's office. He strode in without knocking, walking straight up to the Headmaster's desk and slamming his fist on it. "Where the hell is she going and why? Albus, I know you know. Tell me now!"

Albus smiled up at him sadly. "She can't bear to work with you anymore, Severus. It's too hard for her."

"Too hard? TOO HARD! I BARELY MAKE HER WORK! What is she expecting?"

Albus sighed and stood, walking to his balcony. "Severus… can't you see what is plainly in front of you?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Albus, I am in no mood for riddles."

Dumbledore turned around, smiling again. "She's in love with you, Severus."

Snape's eyes widened. "She… what?"

Albus nodded. "She's in love with you. She told me she'd fallen for you, and she didn't want to risk either of your futures by putting herself in a position of temptation, and asked to go work for the Ministry. I told her that I trusted her to not make the wrong choice with you, but she said she couldn't trust herself. So I let her go. It's obviously hurting her, Severus. Can't you see? All that pain she's bottling up is showing through. Look how thin she is."

Severus closed his eyes and slumped against the wall. Ianna was just another woman being driven away from him. "When does she leave?"

Albus bowed his head. "She is headed to Hogsmeade right now to board the train."

Snape's eyes snapped open and he flew from the office. He couldn't run fast enough through the halls, down the stairs, across the grounds. He Apparated into Hogsmeade as soon as he reached the castle gate. He saw the smoke billowing from the train engine as it pulled away from the station. He ran along the train, looking into each of the cabin windows, trying to find her. Finding an open door, he stepped quickly on board, and continued down the train, looking in each cabin. He finally reached the last carriage and saw her through the door window. She was curled up in the seat, her head resting on her hand, staring out the window. He softly opened the door, and closed it behind himself. She'd taken her magical MP3 player and made it play through a speaker. After a short instrumental section, the chorus picked up.

"_But you didn't have to cut me off, make out like it never happened and that we were nothing, and I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough. No, you didn't have to stoop so low, have your friends collect your records and then change your number. I guess that I don't need that though. Now you're just somebody that I used to know."_

It was beautiful and touching. It made his heart ache for her. He understood what it was like, knowing you couldn't have the one you loved. He stepped up quietly behind her and sat in the opposite chair. Leaning forward, he placed his elbows on his knees for support.

"Who said I wanted you to leave?" She jumped at the sound of his voice, her eyes wide, staring into his.

"Professor, I…" He pressed his forefinger against her lips.

"Williams, what were you thinking? How am I ever going to deal with those children without you?" Her brow furrowed and her eyes turned downward in sadness.

"I can't, Professor… I wish I could explain, but you'd hate me for it."

Severus sighed. "Ianna, I don't need an explanation. I just need you to stay. The children need you to stay. I know I'm hard on them, and you know I can't change my ways. The balance we've created in the classroom is a good environment for them. Your kind nature helps them understand what I'm teaching, and fear of my wrath makes sure that they study hard and remember it. It's a perfect method for teaching. Besides, what do you expect to find at the Ministry? You'll just be a lackey for an Auror, and it will be unlikely that you'll actually learn anything useful or get any sort of practice. At least here you're getting a hands-on experience into what might be your future. One day, you could have a career here! So please, if not for me or the students, at least stay for yourself."

Ianna blinked a few times, as if mulling it over. Then she nodded.

Severus sat up a little. "You'll stay?"

She smiled and nodded again. "Good. I'm glad." He reached for her hand, and gave it a light squeeze. "Thank you. Now, I'm going to go tell the conductor not to leave the station. I'll come back and help you with your bags."

"Ok." Snape stood and left the cabin. Ianna pulled her knees up to her chin and looked back out the window. _'Well, I guess this is gonna hurt, to be so close to him. Maybe Dumbledore can help me get over him. I think he's the only one who can help me at this point.' _She sighed. This wasn't going to be an easy year for her.


	4. Drown in You

Chapter Four – Drown in You

Ianna stepped down off the Hogwarts Express with her last bag. Snape was standing on the platform with the rest of her luggage, and he no longer was looking at her with disdain or some type of nasty smirk. Instead, his face had relaxed into that of simplicity, without any specific expression. It was a lot harder to take in a softer face from him, but less hard than the night in his office. That night, while she'd been lying on his desk, she was able to looking up into the warm eyes, filled with concern for her. That is why had stopped talking to him, and had stopped eating. It was so much easier to mentally check out of her surroundings when she didn't have to speak, and had little to no food in her system. Snape levitated her bags up to the castle, walking alongside her in silence.

When they reached the castle doors, Snape turned to her. "Would you like me to help you take these up to your dorm?"

Ianna shook her head. "No, I have to go talk to Professor Dumbledore, and let him know I'm staying, and I'd like to do that as soon as possible. Is there any way to have Filch bring them up?"

"Yes, I'll take care of it," Snape said softly. "So, Miss Williams, would you like to go over next week's study plan with me this evening? It is Friday night, so we'll have plenty of time to work on it."

Ianna nodded. "Sure. Let me go talk to Professor Dumbledore, and unpack my bags… I guess I'll have to eat dinner later then."

"No, don't worry about it. I'll have the house elves deliver dinner to my office. We can eat and work at the same time."

"Alright," she said. "I'll see you in about an hour." She turned around and walked briskly up the stairs. When she had gotten about 4 flights away from Snape, she pressed herself against the cold brick wall and started sobbing heavily. _How am I ever going to be able to be near him every day for the rest of the year? _It was hard enough to spend 10 minutes near him now. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, to never be without his touch again. Dumbledore. She needed him. Now. She pushed away from the wall, and bolted up more stairs, trying to leave her anguish behind her as she ran.

She stepped up the stairs to Dumbledore's office and knocked three times. "Come in!" came Dumbledore's gentle voice from behind the door. Ianna pushed the door open, and closed it softly behind her. Dumbledore's back was turned toward her and he was stroking his phoenix, Fawkes, as the bird cooed a sweet melody.

Dumbledore turned around. "Miss Williams! What are you doing here? I thought you'd left for London!"

Ianna looked down at her shoes. "No, Professor. You see, Professor Snape came to the station in Hogsmeade… He was looking for me."

"Ah, I see," said Dumbledore softly. "What did he do?"

"Well, he found me on the train, and asked me to stay here with him."

Dumbledore nodded. "And you couldn't say no."

Tears welled up in her eyes. "No, no I couldn't. He seemed suddenly passionate about not losing me, and I wanted to say no, because I knew it would be so much easier to be far away from him, but his eyes, and the way he held my hand, and the way he spoke… Oh, Professor, I'm so sorry! My heart wouldn't let me say no to him."

He gave her a gentle smile. "Don't worry, dear. I'm not at all surprised at the way either of you responded. In fact, do you remember how I told you I felt concerning the situation?"

She nodded, wiping away the tears. "You said you trusted me to make the right choice."

"That's right," he said, standing and moving away from his desk towards her. "Ianna, I didn't necessarily mean that I wanted you to choose what was considered 'appropriate' by the general public. I believe the choices people make in their hearts are always pure. And I want you to choose what will make YOU happy. Are you happy here, Ianna? Do you want to be near Professor Snape?"

She nodded almost instantly. "I don't think I can leave him."

Dumbledore smiled. "Then stand by his side. Work with him. And if you want, you and I can have a weekly meeting to talk about any difficulties you might have in dealing with him, or your feelings, or anything at all. My door is always open to you."

"Thanks, Professor. I'm going to go unpack now." Ianna stood and walked out of his office. As she made her way to her dorm room, she puzzled over what Dumbledore had said. What did he mean? What did her heart have to do with the choice she'd made? Was he trying to say he supported the way she felt about Snape?

When she reached her room, she found her bags already unpacked and put away. There was a piece of parchment on her bed, rolled up and tied with a green cord. She undid the small bow and rolled out the parchment.

Ianna,

I think we've moved beyond a normal teacher-student relationship. We're practically co-workers, and I want us both to be comfortable in this working environment. So let's make this a casual dinner. No uniforms, no work clothes. Let's dress down and break down the wall between us. I want us to get to know each other better. See you shortly.

Severus

Ianna clutched the note to her chest. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she was having a hard time catching her breath. Oh, God, how would she be able to do this? He wanted a comfortable and casual relationship between them, to break down all walls. How could she keep her feelings a secret?


End file.
